I WENT FOR MY MORNING LECTURE!!

and then came back.. slept.. woke up.. went for a movie.. came back and warcrafted.. and its a nice early morning at 230 am.. heh.. such is life!

so anyway, went for movie with T and she was telling me about the latest man she slept with (she says she has only slept with 4 men, but somehow my perverted mind thinks there are more).. and then she proceeds to tell me how she regretted it after a bit, not because it was immoral or she is scared she will get herpes /aids / gonorrhoea / pregnant (thankfully she did not disclose details like whether they used protection).. she regretted it because she lost what was a nice ahem.. FRIENDSHIP!!! hahaha.. i was like.. whatttt.. hahaha.. apparently things weren't the same once they slept together.. SURPRISE!!!

heh - anyway, which just brings me to the point - think most if not all guys would agree with me (yeah repeat after me) - These damn chicks, they want EVERYTHING!! haha.. As def leppard would put it.. all i want is everything, am i asking too much.. yeah man, whats with these chicks, either they want some good old friendship or they want some serious knobbin'.. now, how many times can you have both? or if you REALLy want both, you better choose a guy who can handle that kinda shit.. a man who is mature and has seen the world.. heh.. but yeah, they sleep with some guy they fancy and then they want him to pleasure them once and then forget all about it and carry on like it never happened? As if after that the guy could possibly not think of doing it again? hahaha.. in your dreams eh!!

But not just with that eh.. that is but one scenario.. its like how they want a cool boyfriend who will not smother them.. yet at the same time he should be concerned and be there for them when they need TLC.. now, what about when a man needs some action? Nope - na da - doesn't happen that way! They will not be there opening the door naked with dinner on the table and a mug of beer in their hands when he comes home after a long day of hard work.. chicks - do you understand them? They want a caring sensitive guy.. but if he gets too sensitive or cares too much, he aint giving them space.. but if the guy is cool and doesn't call them too much, then he doesn't care enough.. he is probably two-timing them or maybe he simply doesn't love anymore.. heh.. how does that work? Guys are scheming conniving bastards who are ruled by their pricks.. but girls.. what are they ruled by? EMOTIONS! with that one damn word we are fucked.. like, when they have pms we must understand.. but when we guys have a hardon do they understand? The minor point that hardons occur significantly more frequently than menses, is balanced by the simple fact that pmses only cause pain for everyone while a hardon results in pleasure for both.. no? And then again, talking of emotions, our emotions are in our pricks.. respect THAT eh.. how about that??

Anyway, yeah chicks - they always wanna have their cake and eat it too.. and you know what, most of the time, they damn well get away with it.. phew.. when will we understand them? never, if you consider my humble opinion.. but then again.. as Wilde said.. Women are meant to be loved.. not understood..

As long as they have the tits and you-know-what.. guess they rule.. poor guys.. poor us!

haha - okok.. crap overload.. good night!

right, so after the last post i proceeded to skip my 2 tutorials for this week and ended up not going for lessons the entire week.. yeah, who needs NUS to declare a one week break? I declare that myself!!

So anyway, met Moo, Monssta and ZX for dinner - we came back and chilled with some beers.. and talked of old times.. and you know weird as it sounds, i miss 'em.. its not like am utterly miserable now or something.. but i just miss those times.. haha, i must be getting old and shit.. but yeah they were fun! guess iam not gonna be 22, 23 again so fuck it.. haha

Had a weird dream yesterday - i think it must be because I heard Larry was coming back on wednesday after his pilot training.. haha.. i dreamt i was lining up for a long flight.. a 20 hr flight to God knows where.. i was (this is fucking weird) boarding the flight at the alexandra road terminal.. haha.. and then Mengyi was on the flight with me.. we talked about getting drunk thrice on the flight itself since we had so much time bla bla.. haha.. i think i am just itching to travel!

alright.. this blog is rapidly descending into a damn farce.. i've started writing shit like what i think about myself and what i do and all that.. man.. that is just wrong! haha.. i will try and curb this tendency that violates everything i believe in.. this aint amusing or interesting no more.. who wants to read what i think about myself and what i do right? heh.. apologies!!

This one is dedicated to studies..

Well, this semester so far I think I have attended like what 6 lectures? something like that - incidentally I have 7 a week.. number of tuorials i have skipped - 4.. i have 2 a week.. i have read 2 chapters of the textbook for one subject (because there was a 20% assignment which i could not have done without those 2 chapters).. i also read 5 articles for the other subject (because that one had a 30% assignment that we all had a MONTH to research and do).. the 3rd subject is a practical one and is 100% CA - its also a group assignment thing, so that one is no issue.. i have not done a single tutorial or completed any reading..

So anyway, now that i have put it all down, i feel like SHIT!! After all iam a full time student now and wasn't supposed to repeat mistakes i made during my first degree.. my first one was somewhere along these lines.. but i had to perform then and the pressure got me sooner rather than later and i studied like a dawg a few weeks before the exams.. didnt wanna get kicked out of scholarship i guess.. or maybe it was simply the age and the intelligence.. whatever it is, i cant get pressured now.. this sucks dammit.. i dont know what the topics in my subjects are, leave alone where they are right now in lectures and tutorials.. dammit man!!! i must FUCKING study

Study i will.. fuckkkk.. damnnn.. this semester is sooo screwedddd.. no more alcohol.. no more nonsense.. time to study.. fuckkkkk fuckkkkkk

yeah, so its a quarter past 4 in the morning.. and we just finished celebrating Ah Bang's birthday.. there was plenty of beer and plenty of fun.. the beer not quite adequate to go around.. the fun more than enough.. all who partook ( is there such a word?) in it and stuck on till later got to see a lot of funny stuff that i am sure the early leavers will envy!! Anyway, that is not the point of this post.. in fact, this post has no point..

So anyway, the weekend was filled with alcohol.. friday saturday and sunday night i drank.. and now its monday night (or tuesday morning, depending on how you choose to look at it) and i have drunk again.. i did not get drunk on any of these nights (which is quite an achievement by itself) but oh well, this sort of thing happens once in a while.. only issue is, the week before i drank on thursday, friday and saturday as well.. I guess this cannot possibly a positive thing.. my brain cells are probably at an all time low.. but if you think about it, am so old, by now my brain cells should be fucked anyway...

There are a lot of pictures for the night and all, but sticking to my principles, i will not probably post pictures here.. I will send the pictures to others who will post for all your viewing pleasure.. this post is getting too long without any point to it.. so i will cease rambling on and wish Ah Bang a happy fucking birthday!!

I read this first in my primary school poetry book (yeah we used to have them - and we thought the most popular / best poet was anonymous - we didn't know what the heck it meant).. Anyway, everytime I read it.. it gets me still.. i think its beautiful..

Leisure

WHAT is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

W.H. Davies

Ah well - nightmare week is over with all 3 assignments handed up.. The quality of the assignments ofcourse lefta lot to be desired I guess but oh well, as with all these things I was lazy and am mighty relieved they are over.. it is a loong gap of 2 weeks I think before our next assignment comes along - 2 weeks i hope that will be well spent catching up.. at least I dont have a take-home 40% exam like Ranjan is having now *shudder*..

Just had to say this about the hall meeting yesterday - are we just blessed with nincompoops or do our neighbours just have a blatant disregard for any kind of thinking? Perfect example in point - Aunty Mingui - his everchanging weirder hairdos must have had some kind of debilitating effect on his gray matter.. either that or he must have some milder form of Down's syndrome which must make common sense a real encumbrance.. NO offence and all that good stuff - we all understand and revere Rag, but honestly is it the epitome of hall spirit? Apart from nauseating announcements he intoned during the Q&A session - quite shamelessly wasting the collective time of about a hundred people - he proceeded to make those insinuating comments about the dancers - I mean, I have no stand on the matter.. I for one, am not sure if they deserve the merit points.. but the basis on which he opposed the award of the merit points was at best flimsy and at worst (to quote him) moronic.. i am sure there are 69 better ways of putting across a point - either he was overcome by so much passion that he could not clearly express himself or he simply should get someone else to speak for him the next time.. heh.. Anyway, make no mistake.. it is heartwarming to everyone in hall am sure to see him (and others) give a shit about hall I guess.. and hey, he is still an ok guy and all.. he is just soo damn AUNTYYYYY!!! someone kick his arse or something please!

Oh yeah, talking of quite ridiculous suggestions, Mingui had close competition from Eugene Ong.. someone explain to me why an original script makes the entire hall production committee gain merit points? I understand that the scriptwriters, not withstanding the quality of the thoroughly lame script, deserve some plaudits merely for the courage and endeavour if nothing else.. but but but, they get their points and the rest of the play carries on the same right? Whether original script or an adaptation, the stage settings, the acting, the music, the direction all that remain the same don't they? In fact, the directors and all should have even more leeway that for an adaptation - no? I could be wrong - do not blame me, iam but singularly unartistic and all - but again, I can understand that if the entire production committee did real well that would be reason enough.. merely having an original script will not even change the jobscope of most of the people methinks - so why merit points on THAT basis? iam befuddled - someone explain..

And the financial success? Sorry at this point I would have to swear.. KANNINAA.. FUCKING HELL.. as Kenric righfully pointed out, the financial success was based bigtime on the flat fee of $15 - which Eugene said was indicated in the post mortem as something that ought to be corrected next year.. and THEN, despite that I CANNOT BELIEVE he had the audacity to state that as a reason for merit points.. what in fucking blazes does he think??

Kudos to Nick for tryign to correct their 'naivety' but i do not think it was that.. it was a fucking outrage frankly, proposing merit points for everyone involved.. no offense to the hall production people, but it was hardly the most entertaining way to spend $15 and 2 hours..

Alrighty - guess I made enough enemies there.. but guys, seriously I could have been more diplomatic and all, but aint nothing personal right.. its just what I thought and maybe it aint just me.. I know not.. makes you wonder right - all these arguments and shit - is it worth the 1 or 2 points extra people wanna get?

And then again right, it makes me wonder too - do all these committees even think about what exactly they are supposed to do? Perspective is important.. at the end of the day activities like production, D&D etc are meant to be for the enjoyment of all hall residents - if residents pay $15 and make the production a "financial success".. or if residents buy pineapple tarts for $15 so their d&d tickets can be subidized to a cost of $50.. what is the point of it all? are some of these activities becoming too big for themselves? If the canvassing people are unable to obtain the requisite sums of money required for a grand event (frankly how surprising is that? no offense, but i would rather give whatever excess money I have to the Tsunami victims than for a bleeding d&d for spoilt undergrad kids) why can we not face financial realities and have a smaller event? Do we fail to see the damn point if it all seriously?? Man, now i recall distinctly why i did not want to join any of these things when I came to NUS.. sheesh..

haha - alright.. sorry folks.. long and i think i slammed a lot of people.. presuming a few people read this - apologies eh.. no offense meant at all!! common sense is an effective tool i think we all should use more often! Astalavista

Was doing a mini reshuffle of a tiny portion of the vast amount of absolute junk that occupies my damn room (and yeah, all because i was looking for my FYP report for Shai.. not that i found it dammit!).. Anyway found a few pieces of paper - with about 30 emails and names.. and i realised they were from my backpacking trip in 2003.. and then i recalled how much that damn trip changed my life.. you see, when i embarked on it - it was a business trip incidentally - i had been working for close to 3 years.. and my company thought well enough of a few of us to send us for a training trip to germany.. being the man that i was, i took 2 weeks off and went off backpacking by myself (not entirely true - the first weekend had my colleague with me.. she PREVENTED me from trying ABSINTHE at its home- goddammitttt!!)

anyway,i had backpacked around Europe before but then i was but a kid.. so this time as i was backpacking alone and it was feb-march and hardcore winter, fellow backpackers were all highschool kids from the US (they were young and dumb and full of cum) while the others were seasoned veterans who preferred the not-so-crowded winters.. and these people.. all around my age or older.. i think they changed it for me.. fuck stability and a regular steady life.. result.. i came back.. was already restless.. 2 months later i apply for law school and 4 months later was in the middle of it.. i never kept in touch with any of them.. we all drank every night and exchanged email ids and promises to keep in touch.. and never emailed each other again.. there were 1 or 2 who did.. i replied once and stopped cause i was very busy then.. working life and inherent laziness..

But oh well.. I wonder what would have happened if I had not taken that trip.. if I had not met those people who lived life for fun.. they didn't believe in saving money.. they made money when they needed it.. spent it all travelling and having fun.. all our typical Asian restrictions dont seem to apply to them.. no such thing as settling down and getting a steady life and all that bullshit.. i talked to them.. ive talked to many people.. but this time i was already restless.. and these people left an impression.. through the pints and irish car bombs it registered.. and here i am today.. i wonder.. what if i had not taken that trip? i wonder..

heh - we all do a lot of stupid things when we are drunk right? But well, i do stupider things than most people..heh.. and i cant STAND it.. grrrhhh.. soo dumb!! hehe.. oh well.. this aint supposed to sound very serious.. and dont fucking make fun of it.. bloody hell!!


it is only when iam drunk
i dont care how low i've sunk
it is only when i have beer
i dont feel my insides sear
it is only when iam high
i dont see the depths in which i lie
it is only when when iam full of alcohol
i ignore the depths to which i fall
it is only when iam truly wasted
i dont recall the bitterness I've tasted

But then i get drunk and..

i wake up with my clothes strewn around the bed
and a deep rhythming pounding inside my head
i remember bits and pieces from the night before
memories of dancing or singing or trying to score
i start feeling like a fucking fool
ritual embarassment arrives on schedule
i'd prefer to crawl into a shell and die
or rather in my bed forever lie
i dont want anyone to remind me
how fucking stupid i can be
i feel the shame oh the fucking shame
dont ever wanna feel the same
i forget with time all this pain
only to repeat this shit all over again
i know this sounds dumb and so damn trite
but hey welcome to the days of my fucking life

nothing much is happening.. another essay.. another sleepless night that was a result of last minute work and resulted in slipshod mediocre work that i do not want to peruse when i've had enough sleep.. hopefully it gets my usual C or B and keep me in the damn grind.. what is the point of it all.. get it i do not!

and on saturday night we ended up drinking again.. Tormod the great white fucker.. the Nepali mountain boy and even the smart mat and navin, the newfound mamak joined us.. what was supposed to be "a beer" with me reading my notes as we drank turned to a drink-till-3am nightmare.. not a good sign with a damn essay due on monday eh.. and certainly not if you JUST realised you didnt have the damn textbook.. and photocopied what someone told you were the relevant chapters couple of hours before you started drinking.. oh well.. these things happen i guess.. and one must be strong enough to put them behind you and plod on.. which is what i did.. doesnt make any proud of it though.. dammit.. ever since my alcohol hiatus ended, i feel like drinking all the damn time!!! not good.. hi cirrhosis..

thought this one was funny... heh

and so the earth God did make
for making man 6 days He did take
then to man He gave a mate
but man's desire did not abate
and then to keep him in good cheer
God gave him the gift of beer!