i want to write a book.. a book insane and outrageous and funny - something noone would have ever thought of.. i want to write and sing a song.. a song with words so tragic.. a tune so sweet.. a song that will make one laugh and weep all at once.. i want to travel around the world.. from the northern lights and anchorage to the nether ends of africa and the asscrack of the pacific.. i want to travel and see places, people, culture noone has ever seen.. a la Dr.Livingstone (was that his name?).. i want to run.. run like noone has ever run before.. run like jesse owens did with a purpose.. run faster than anyone has ever.. i want to .. never mind eh.. this line of thought leads nowhere.. damn thing!

seek beauty hidden..
venture where unbidden..
find solace nowhere..
dream but dont dare..
hope and despair..
grieve and worry yet care..
into nothingness stare..
nothing but misery share..
discover the world unfair..
for noone a thought spare..
smile is but a mask to wear..
love - build castles in the air..
break as your heart it lays bare..




many years have passed
since i saw her last
sometimes she is but a memory faded
something to cling onto when i feel jaded

i dont always think of her much
only during melancholic moments as such
sometimes when i lie alone trying to sleep
emerges from that corner where my blissful memories i keep

a thing of beauty she is to me, a vision
that gives a glimmer of hope in my world of indecision
shamelessly i confess i would give anything
if i could give life to this wistful feeling

even giving a name to this thing is a trifle hard
i dont know if it is mere one sided love on my part
it transcends whatever love i have found
and easy love in my life does abound

so what is this mesmerizing longing
this one certainty when all else is failing
is it an answer - a joyful illusion
yet another in my lonely life of delusion

why then do i seek and attempt to explain
when my sincerest efforts are but in vain
this vision of hers is personal and intimate
gives me company when i feel all desolate

keeps in place the little vestige of hope
in goodness and virtue and all things noble
as i drift in the maelstrom of use and abuse
she will remain my faith, she'll remain my muse!

there is no truth behind the above.. imagine what you want

yeah - its dead and defunct but i will put up whenever i feel like it!!!!

LIVERPOOL won the FA cup... dammit.. and in dramatic fashion too.. why cant they just keep it easy for themselves.. assholes!! haha..

anyway, life's kind of coasting along.. i want not to take it serious for now because it gets as serious as it can on 1st june.. all one can hope for is that it all works out fine.. and if anyone still does read this.. ahem.. thanks for the faith.. maybe i will resume updating maybe i wont.. i simply know not..

cheers!!