Thursday, October 26, 2006
Right - so i feel like blogging again - and it matters not if noone else reads it..
So been drinking a fair bit again.. but increasingly not liking the aftermath of each drinking session.. don't feel all that good mentally and physically anymore.. the powers of recuperation are on the wane and there is this little voice that warns it could only lead to some act of stupidity sooner rather than later.. so i will make a conscious effort to cut down on alcohol intake - there i've said it.. wasn't that hard after all.. hehe
Thing is.. exams are a-coming.. hopefully the last exams of my life ever.. i really hope so.. my time for learning and taking exams is long past i fear.. any semblance i have to the student i was 5-10 years ago is remarkably hard to detect.. the brains are dwindling.. any capacity for independent thought and sharp logic has been eroded by the years of redundance.. yawn.. yeah its time to wake up and do some real relevant stuff
Anyway, getting bored of blogging already.. aiya life very boring eh.. i need a purpose.. an aim.. strange but i cant wait to start working..
So been drinking a fair bit again.. but increasingly not liking the aftermath of each drinking session.. don't feel all that good mentally and physically anymore.. the powers of recuperation are on the wane and there is this little voice that warns it could only lead to some act of stupidity sooner rather than later.. so i will make a conscious effort to cut down on alcohol intake - there i've said it.. wasn't that hard after all.. hehe
Thing is.. exams are a-coming.. hopefully the last exams of my life ever.. i really hope so.. my time for learning and taking exams is long past i fear.. any semblance i have to the student i was 5-10 years ago is remarkably hard to detect.. the brains are dwindling.. any capacity for independent thought and sharp logic has been eroded by the years of redundance.. yawn.. yeah its time to wake up and do some real relevant stuff
Anyway, getting bored of blogging already.. aiya life very boring eh.. i need a purpose.. an aim.. strange but i cant wait to start working..
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
yeah so i decided to just wait and blog when the sitemeter indicated there was no visitor.. but obviously thanks to the links on other blogs and trigger happy surfers with too much time who probably click on any weirdass name, it hasn't happened.. but yeah went down to 1 visitor yesterday.. guess that's close enough.. haha.. even the chatterbox shutdown because there were no messages.. maybe i will renew it so the empty space wont be so damn ugly!
anyway its back to studying.. though its only till december.. nevertheless, its a good curtain raiser to the ugly schedule that awaits around the corner i guess.. and meanwhile life keeps ticking along..
mark achiampong yeboah materialized out of nowhere.. my only african friend (dont count mauritius eh) who was my ex roomie and ahem loveguru/advisor during NTU.. haha.. the arsehole who branded me THE LOSER! yeah well, he's here for a business trip and its one last swansong for the NTU gang.. what with everyone leaving the country or getting married, we are hardly the "gang" we used to be.. but meeting up over the past couple of weeks.. reliving the old wild bbq days at the block 54 rooftop, including the crazy drinking sessions.. yeah we drank till 6am that saturday reminiscing on those days.. and the buggers can still remember #1 #2 #3 etc.. we're still taking the mickey out of each other.. dammit i miss those times.. i would pay any price to go back to 1997.. i swear i will! haha
aye aye i am getting old i guess.. keep thinking of days gone by and thinking how enjoyable they were.. lol.. not right.. then again.. guess all i have to do is wake up and look at the PLC timetable and get on with it..
anyway its back to studying.. though its only till december.. nevertheless, its a good curtain raiser to the ugly schedule that awaits around the corner i guess.. and meanwhile life keeps ticking along..
mark achiampong yeboah materialized out of nowhere.. my only african friend (dont count mauritius eh) who was my ex roomie and ahem loveguru/advisor during NTU.. haha.. the arsehole who branded me THE LOSER! yeah well, he's here for a business trip and its one last swansong for the NTU gang.. what with everyone leaving the country or getting married, we are hardly the "gang" we used to be.. but meeting up over the past couple of weeks.. reliving the old wild bbq days at the block 54 rooftop, including the crazy drinking sessions.. yeah we drank till 6am that saturday reminiscing on those days.. and the buggers can still remember #1 #2 #3 etc.. we're still taking the mickey out of each other.. dammit i miss those times.. i would pay any price to go back to 1997.. i swear i will! haha
aye aye i am getting old i guess.. keep thinking of days gone by and thinking how enjoyable they were.. lol.. not right.. then again.. guess all i have to do is wake up and look at the PLC timetable and get on with it..
Friday, June 09, 2006
Working life.. second time around everything is muted.. no tingling sensation.. no excitement.. just calm acceptance.. ok la.. it aint as bad as i feared.. neither as good as i hoped.. so its alright.. getting used to it.. will get into the grind soon enough i guess..
whoa.. daphne just msned me.. havent spoken to her in what 3 years? daphne from Ipoh was my friend in NTU.. and my housemate at Geylang before i came to NUS.. use to guzzle vodka.. talk cock.. act demure.. etc etc.. and now she is MARRIED!! hahaha.. guess will see her in december during the Singapore phase of her wedding.. this is the woman who was funny and stupid and smart and chik all at the same time.. and used to read Lord of Scoundrels when she was 24! God knows how many times we got drunk at home with Kuhan.. the number of guys she spurned during her dating phase.. before and after naresh.. haha.. those were the days.. oh did i mention.. CJ her hubby and she are happily settled down in London now.. how times change.. good on you woman!! finally you found what you were looking for.. lol.. way to go!!
whoa.. daphne just msned me.. havent spoken to her in what 3 years? daphne from Ipoh was my friend in NTU.. and my housemate at Geylang before i came to NUS.. use to guzzle vodka.. talk cock.. act demure.. etc etc.. and now she is MARRIED!! hahaha.. guess will see her in december during the Singapore phase of her wedding.. this is the woman who was funny and stupid and smart and chik all at the same time.. and used to read Lord of Scoundrels when she was 24! God knows how many times we got drunk at home with Kuhan.. the number of guys she spurned during her dating phase.. before and after naresh.. haha.. those were the days.. oh did i mention.. CJ her hubby and she are happily settled down in London now.. how times change.. good on you woman!! finally you found what you were looking for.. lol.. way to go!!
Saturday, May 27, 2006
i want to write a book.. a book insane and outrageous and funny - something noone would have ever thought of.. i want to write and sing a song.. a song with words so tragic.. a tune so sweet.. a song that will make one laugh and weep all at once.. i want to travel around the world.. from the northern lights and anchorage to the nether ends of africa and the asscrack of the pacific.. i want to travel and see places, people, culture noone has ever seen.. a la Dr.Livingstone (was that his name?).. i want to run.. run like noone has ever run before.. run like jesse owens did with a purpose.. run faster than anyone has ever.. i want to .. never mind eh.. this line of thought leads nowhere.. damn thing!
seek beauty hidden..
venture where unbidden..
find solace nowhere..
dream but dont dare..
hope and despair..
grieve and worry yet care..
into nothingness stare..
nothing but misery share..
discover the world unfair..
for noone a thought spare..
smile is but a mask to wear..
love - build castles in the air..
break as your heart it lays bare..
many years have passed
since i saw her last
sometimes she is but a memory faded
something to cling onto when i feel jaded
i dont always think of her much
only during melancholic moments as such
sometimes when i lie alone trying to sleep
emerges from that corner where my blissful memories i keep
a thing of beauty she is to me, a vision
that gives a glimmer of hope in my world of indecision
shamelessly i confess i would give anything
if i could give life to this wistful feeling
even giving a name to this thing is a trifle hard
i dont know if it is mere one sided love on my part
it transcends whatever love i have found
and easy love in my life does abound
so what is this mesmerizing longing
this one certainty when all else is failing
is it an answer - a joyful illusion
yet another in my lonely life of delusion
why then do i seek and attempt to explain
when my sincerest efforts are but in vain
this vision of hers is personal and intimate
gives me company when i feel all desolate
keeps in place the little vestige of hope
in goodness and virtue and all things noble
as i drift in the maelstrom of use and abuse
she will remain my faith, she'll remain my muse!
there is no truth behind the above.. imagine what you want
venture where unbidden..
find solace nowhere..
dream but dont dare..
hope and despair..
grieve and worry yet care..
into nothingness stare..
nothing but misery share..
discover the world unfair..
for noone a thought spare..
smile is but a mask to wear..
love - build castles in the air..
break as your heart it lays bare..
many years have passed
since i saw her last
sometimes she is but a memory faded
something to cling onto when i feel jaded
i dont always think of her much
only during melancholic moments as such
sometimes when i lie alone trying to sleep
emerges from that corner where my blissful memories i keep
a thing of beauty she is to me, a vision
that gives a glimmer of hope in my world of indecision
shamelessly i confess i would give anything
if i could give life to this wistful feeling
even giving a name to this thing is a trifle hard
i dont know if it is mere one sided love on my part
it transcends whatever love i have found
and easy love in my life does abound
so what is this mesmerizing longing
this one certainty when all else is failing
is it an answer - a joyful illusion
yet another in my lonely life of delusion
why then do i seek and attempt to explain
when my sincerest efforts are but in vain
this vision of hers is personal and intimate
gives me company when i feel all desolate
keeps in place the little vestige of hope
in goodness and virtue and all things noble
as i drift in the maelstrom of use and abuse
she will remain my faith, she'll remain my muse!
there is no truth behind the above.. imagine what you want
Sunday, May 14, 2006
yeah - its dead and defunct but i will put up whenever i feel like it!!!!
LIVERPOOL won the FA cup... dammit.. and in dramatic fashion too.. why cant they just keep it easy for themselves.. assholes!! haha..
anyway, life's kind of coasting along.. i want not to take it serious for now because it gets as serious as it can on 1st june.. all one can hope for is that it all works out fine.. and if anyone still does read this.. ahem.. thanks for the faith.. maybe i will resume updating maybe i wont.. i simply know not..
cheers!!
LIVERPOOL won the FA cup... dammit.. and in dramatic fashion too.. why cant they just keep it easy for themselves.. assholes!! haha..
anyway, life's kind of coasting along.. i want not to take it serious for now because it gets as serious as it can on 1st june.. all one can hope for is that it all works out fine.. and if anyone still does read this.. ahem.. thanks for the faith.. maybe i will resume updating maybe i wont.. i simply know not..
cheers!!
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Yes this blog is DEAD - but i cant help putting up one more post.. yeah, i know its very extra - i dont know of anyone reading this - successfully closed it is.. but but but i just have to say it la..
Command rocked.. however desensitized i have been to all this - and however repetitive all this seems the second time around.. truth is.. i appreciate the significance of the upcoming changes even more now that i know what to expect after this.. for better or worse these 3 years have affected my life - and very significantly too.. what the future holds i know not - though i can make educated guesses.. but reliving the student experience a second time.. its all been a blast la.. yes there has been plenty of shit.. but truth be told.. i will miss this shit.. and that is all i have to tell!!
Good Bye!
Command rocked.. however desensitized i have been to all this - and however repetitive all this seems the second time around.. truth is.. i appreciate the significance of the upcoming changes even more now that i know what to expect after this.. for better or worse these 3 years have affected my life - and very significantly too.. what the future holds i know not - though i can make educated guesses.. but reliving the student experience a second time.. its all been a blast la.. yes there has been plenty of shit.. but truth be told.. i will miss this shit.. and that is all i have to tell!!
Good Bye!
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
right - so here I am sitting and wasting my life away in magnificient idleness.. guess that should make my ageing mind not merely a workshop but possibly some sort of large scale factory for the devil.. but then again, when the mind is not idle but is active it is so active frequently with the devil's doings.. so what is the difference? If mere evil thought were a crime, half - correction, most of us - would have a record longer than Goldilocks' braid..
I guess I should be blogging about what i have been upto and all that but if i start now it would be but a very torturous litany of boring trivialties - there has been plenty of alcohol interspersed with warcraft sessions.. thanks to the spanking new national library's excellent Wodehouse collection that noone else unsurprisingly seems to take an interest in, there's been adequate time and opportunity to read about 5 new Wodehouse classics I'd never heard of before (you see, these dont form part of his famous collections - no jeeves, emsworth or even psmith and mulliner - these are the harder to find gems - single books that dont have any prequels or sequels).. there has been time for sleep and mindless internet surfing and endless catching up with friends outside of NUS and for discussing utter nonsense and to simply sit down and contemplate the larger issues plaguing this rapidly deteriorating world of ours..
One thing I would never quite understand is how there are some among us who feel that their time must be heavily occupied - like life is one mission to accomplish after another.. like its some sort of RPG where the whole aim of the game is to go on some quest or the other.. the more ambitious you are, the more complicated and difficult the quest gets.. the harder you work and the greater the sense of achievement.. mind you, life cannot be an aimless mindless meandering journey either (not like that memorable paper or was that plastic bag in American Beauty).. one should have the time to pause to look and listen and observe and the time to dwell on these observations.. time to do nothing at all but think.. not just about the mundane necessities but about the higher things in life.. the spiritual, the philosophical, the beautiful.. because mere reality if unmitigated by such thoughts is harsh, cruel and downright abysmal.
Yeah the bitch that is life needs a collar and a leash.. but the bitch straining at the leash and forcing you to run along might be good for your heart.. but running all the time is unwelcome.. one ought to jerk/pull the leash once in a while.. show the bitch who's the boss! Dont let her dictate to you..
I guess I should be blogging about what i have been upto and all that but if i start now it would be but a very torturous litany of boring trivialties - there has been plenty of alcohol interspersed with warcraft sessions.. thanks to the spanking new national library's excellent Wodehouse collection that noone else unsurprisingly seems to take an interest in, there's been adequate time and opportunity to read about 5 new Wodehouse classics I'd never heard of before (you see, these dont form part of his famous collections - no jeeves, emsworth or even psmith and mulliner - these are the harder to find gems - single books that dont have any prequels or sequels).. there has been time for sleep and mindless internet surfing and endless catching up with friends outside of NUS and for discussing utter nonsense and to simply sit down and contemplate the larger issues plaguing this rapidly deteriorating world of ours..
One thing I would never quite understand is how there are some among us who feel that their time must be heavily occupied - like life is one mission to accomplish after another.. like its some sort of RPG where the whole aim of the game is to go on some quest or the other.. the more ambitious you are, the more complicated and difficult the quest gets.. the harder you work and the greater the sense of achievement.. mind you, life cannot be an aimless mindless meandering journey either (not like that memorable paper or was that plastic bag in American Beauty).. one should have the time to pause to look and listen and observe and the time to dwell on these observations.. time to do nothing at all but think.. not just about the mundane necessities but about the higher things in life.. the spiritual, the philosophical, the beautiful.. because mere reality if unmitigated by such thoughts is harsh, cruel and downright abysmal.
Yeah the bitch that is life needs a collar and a leash.. but the bitch straining at the leash and forcing you to run along might be good for your heart.. but running all the time is unwelcome.. one ought to jerk/pull the leash once in a while.. show the bitch who's the boss! Dont let her dictate to you..
